So everyone knows that Kieth and I had our 6th anniversary earlier this month, right? I mean, its not like we tried to burn down our house or anything like that.

And pretty much everyone that reads this blog knows about the many issues I have with my parent's religion.

So I have finally moved on from the feelings this post inspired, and then I get an email from my mother. Five days AFTER my anniversary. *WM means Wal-Mart*

happy 6th anniversary.hope you are doing, ok we are. i quit W M. am working with Dad. stress level is way down. am happier, have time to play in my garden. going to columbia,mo for assembly in aug.

These few sentences tell me so very much. The date tells me my parents still don't have internet at home, my mom had to go to the library to send me this email. It tells me that my mom probably had to sneak out to the library to use the internet. And it tells me that they weren't even in town the beginning of June (so they weren't ignoring me after all).

After many days of deliberation, I finally found a way to tell my mom how hurt I was, hopefully without being to mean about it.

I'm so glad you're happy and less stressed! Everyone is doing fine up here, Josie is now 13 months old and walking all over the place. Matthew will be four in August (I swear, I just brought him home yesterday!). Keith has a really awesome job with *****, the *** company. I'm still staying at home with the kids right now, most days I love it, some days they drive me crazy.

I must say, though, that I was very hurt and upset when you didn't call to see your grandchildren during the assembly here in Kansas City. I had no way of knowing that you weren't here, but I do keep track of things that are going on in the religion. I know when the assemblies are (I even know most of what is talked about at the assemblies), I know about the new Watchtower formats, and all the new rules the Governing Body has imposed upon you all.

I'm not stupid, but I also can't read your mind to know which assembly you attend, so you not calling during the assembly up here really hurt me, mostly because you're denying my children the chance to get to know you. And you are a wonderful person, a person worthy of being known.

And sadly, I don't really know you, not who you were when you were younger. I don't know what hopes and dreams you had, I don't know many stories of your youth, and I don't know what makes you tick.

All I know is that you have let Dad (another person worthy of being known) guilt everyone in the family into not having any contact with me or your sister. I know that you sneak away about once a year to have lunch with your sister. I know that you probably had to sneak away to the library just to email me.

I sit here in tears because I hurt so much. I hurt for myself, I hurt for my children, and I hurt for you and dad.

I, too, am worthy of being known, and so are my children. But you don't know who I am anymore. You don't know my dreams, for me or my children, and you never ask.

Love is not a feeling, Mom, Love is an action. Love is an email, love is a phone call, love is a letter, love is a hug, and love is being there for your children when they need you.

When I needed you most, you were denied me, and you were denied being here for me.

Sad what the rules of 9-12 men in Brooklyn who run a publishing company have done to our lives, isn't it?

I've seen their version of love first hand, and quite honestly, want absolutely nothing to do with it ever again. I have something more precious. I have UNCONDITIONAL love. It's absolutely amazing.

I wish it would actually make a difference in how they treat me, but, truly, I'm not holding my breath. Nothing will change until my father is gone. And that in and of itself makes me sad.

*sigh*

This past weekend (June 1-3), my parents were here in Kansas City for their Annual District Convention of Jehovah's Witnesses. This year's theme was "Follow The Christ".

I wonder if any of these points were mentioned?

Jesus did not shun those who were shunned due to religious decrees. Not one.

The first person Jesus (supposedly) told as to his supernatural identity was the Samaritan woman at the well, who had slept with 7 men and was shacking up with another man. Jesus put this horrible sinner first and never condemned her at all.

The only group ever condemned directly by Jesus own mouth according to the traditional gospels were the religious leaders who put laws before people that were too much for them to bear. (read up on Matt 23 and compare to the Governing Body)

I'm guessing not, seeing as how my parents didn't even call to see their only grandchildren.

Exactly what do my parents think I'm going to tell my children when they ask me why their grandparents never see them? That mommy did something really really bad and this is her punishment? That mommy left the only true God and condemned myself and them to destruction at Armageddon?

I'll tell you what I'm going to tell my children. I'm going to tell them that their grandparents love them the best that they can, but they belong to a religion that forbids them to have any contact with their only daughter because I dared to leave the church I was raised in. I dared to be an independent thinker and dared to question the authority of 9-12 MEN. I refused to let MEN tell me who I could and could not talk to or associate with. I refused to let MEN tell me, that because I was born a woman, I would always be a second-class citizen.

I refused to be a victim my whole life, never thinking that I was good enough for God.

I refused to lie about who I am to fit into their small mold of what is acceptable. I am so much more than that. According to them, God created each and everyone of us, but yet to follow God, we're not allowed to reach our full potential.

I cry for my children for the loss of their grandparents, whom they will most likely never know.

I cry for myself for the loss of my parents, for their love requires them to love the law of men more than their daughter.

I cry for my parents who will never know just how beautiful and wonderful their grandchildren truly are.

I cry for my brother who will never realize his dream of a Masters in Physics because to do so would take too much time away from his God (not to mention would completely destroy his faith and make him as evil as me).

My parents and brothers are more than a religion, but the chance to know them as people has been stolen from me.

Because child molestation is WRONG.

NO Religion should protect even ONE child molester. Not even God's "chosen" religion. ESPECIALLY God's "chosen" religion.

Dear Friends,

From time to time, even as recently as a couple of months ago, we have had formal requests from various forms of media groups. They are requesting silentlambs to provide victims of sexual abuse within the Jehovah's Witness organization to come forward in person and contribute their story. We have numerous individuals who remain 'on call' and have been in our call database since 2001.

We would appreciate it if you would forward a request to any and all new ones who would like to be on our 'call list' for future appearances in the media. For example we recently recieved a phone call one morning from a well known talk show wanting abuse victims and phone numbers who were willing to go on the show, and they were to be provided in a matter of two hours. We were able to follow through with this request. Hopefully this show will air soon.

Please forward this message to any who might be interested. They must contact us at our official website, www.silentlambs.org and be willing to tell their story. They may remain anonymous with the media if this is what they choose.

Thank you for passing this on.

silentlambs

http://www.silentlambs.org/