Thursday, January 12

Nobody gets it

I'm suffering for the worse case of Seasonal Depression I've had in the last 7 years. Usually, I go to the tanning bed once a week, starting in November or December, and that takes care of the problem.

I'm pregnant, and can't go to the tanning bed. I'm pregnant, and have a shitload of extra hormones magnigfying my depression. I'm pregnant, and can't take any anti-depressants.

The only thing holding my sanity together for the last month has been the anticipation of a trip to San Jose with my hubby, WITHOUT the two year old. I'm a stay-at-home mom. I don't work outside of the home. To me, 5 days without my two year old sounded like heaven, not to mention that it was someplace warmer than where I live.

And then, on the same day my sanity was pulled out from under me, I had to get the absolute worst sonogram technician EVER. (I'm sure she's not really the worst, but it sure seemed like it). She THINKS the baby might be a girl, but my midwife said that she's been wrong the last two times she thought it was a girl. She didn't take her time at all, just rushed thru the whole exam, not really even talking. I didn't find out any info from her, but from the midwife AFTER the sonogram.

I'm sorry, but as a parent, one of the main reasons I get a sonogram at all is to find out what the sex of the baby is. Yes, I want to see the heart, and the spine, and the fluid, and to make sure the placenta is in the proper place, but dammit, it's just as important to me to count how many fingers and toes the baby has too. (I actually know a lady who's baby was born with an extra finger.) The baby has sex organs, take your damn time and FIND THEM.

And then there was the whole issue of making me wait a half hour for my appt. When you go in for a sonogram, you're supposed to have a full bladder, it helps in finding the baby. I had to wait without being able to go to the bathroom. The receptionist also told me that the door was closed, so she could't go in and find out how much longer it was going to take, a privacy issue. THE DAMN DOCTOR WHO MADE THE TECH LATE IN THE FIRST PLACE JUST BARGED IN DURING MY SONOGRAM, EVEN THO THE DOOR WAS CLOSED. So apparently Doctors in this office are above the rules.

Is it any wonder after a day like this that I couldn't stop crying?

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