Not so random thoughts

Hubby comes home from his trip to San Jose tonight, his plane lands around 8:30, hopefully he'll be home by 9, 9:30.

The last three days (two nights) haven't been too bad without him, other than I'm lonely at night. No one to snuggle with. Well, anyone that I want to snuggle with, anyway. A wiggly two year old, I don't think so! He only gets the day-time snuggles on my lap.

I've got lots of laundry to do today, I suppose I should get moving.

It's been an interesting week

So I'm eating popcorn Wednesday after putting Matt down for the night, and as I'm using my tongue to check for any stuck in my teeth, I discover that I've broken one of my molars. Joy Joy. So it's off to the dentist for me, dammit. Fortunately, I only need a crown and not a root canal. A crown still involves 3 shots of novacain, though. (yes, it's safe for the baby, I checked)

So my face is slowly becoming un-numb, but that means there's gonna be pain around my gums and in my cheek where they gave me the damn shots. wooohooo.

I go back in two weeks for my permanent crown, but that doesn't involve any shots! yay!

Oh, and I'm now 23 weeks pregnant, feeling the baby move all the time.

Psycho bitch has retreated, for now.

My hubby rocks. He brought me home a dozen roses last night, along with a really good hug. And since I spend so much time at my computer, I split them up and have some upstairs and some downstairs to look at.


Knowing that he reads my blog made it so much easier to tell him how depressed I am WITHOUT the screaming and bawling and attacking that would have happened if I'd told him face to face. Something he really didn't deserve.

Nobody gets it

I'm suffering for the worse case of Seasonal Depression I've had in the last 7 years. Usually, I go to the tanning bed once a week, starting in November or December, and that takes care of the problem.

I'm pregnant, and can't go to the tanning bed. I'm pregnant, and have a shitload of extra hormones magnigfying my depression. I'm pregnant, and can't take any anti-depressants.

The only thing holding my sanity together for the last month has been the anticipation of a trip to San Jose with my hubby, WITHOUT the two year old. I'm a stay-at-home mom. I don't work outside of the home. To me, 5 days without my two year old sounded like heaven, not to mention that it was someplace warmer than where I live.

And then, on the same day my sanity was pulled out from under me, I had to get the absolute worst sonogram technician EVER. (I'm sure she's not really the worst, but it sure seemed like it). She THINKS the baby might be a girl, but my midwife said that she's been wrong the last two times she thought it was a girl. She didn't take her time at all, just rushed thru the whole exam, not really even talking. I didn't find out any info from her, but from the midwife AFTER the sonogram.

I'm sorry, but as a parent, one of the main reasons I get a sonogram at all is to find out what the sex of the baby is. Yes, I want to see the heart, and the spine, and the fluid, and to make sure the placenta is in the proper place, but dammit, it's just as important to me to count how many fingers and toes the baby has too. (I actually know a lady who's baby was born with an extra finger.) The baby has sex organs, take your damn time and FIND THEM.

And then there was the whole issue of making me wait a half hour for my appt. When you go in for a sonogram, you're supposed to have a full bladder, it helps in finding the baby. I had to wait without being able to go to the bathroom. The receptionist also told me that the door was closed, so she could't go in and find out how much longer it was going to take, a privacy issue. THE DAMN DOCTOR WHO MADE THE TECH LATE IN THE FIRST PLACE JUST BARGED IN DURING MY SONOGRAM, EVEN THO THE DOOR WAS CLOSED. So apparently Doctors in this office are above the rules.

Is it any wonder after a day like this that I couldn't stop crying?

eh

So today's been a pretty shitty day so far.

• I don't get to go to San Jose with Keith in a few weeks. This was my only chance to have any sort of vacation child free for the next year.
  

• We had to wait a half hour in the waiting room for our sonnogram of the new baby. And because she was running so late, the sonnogram was rushed, and I was so irritated by the time I saw my midwife, I couldn't think of several items I needed to discuss with her.
  

• Matthew screamed the entire office visit: while waiting the aforementioned half hour, the time it took to complete the sonnogram, and for the visit with the midwives.
  

• We still don't really know for sure what sex the new baby is. The baby didn't cooperate at all, and this was the only sonnogram we get.
  

The good part of the day is that the baby is completely healthy and exactly where it should be, both growth wise and position wise! The placenta is up and out of the way, the heart looks healthy, baby looks great. All in all, I should be happy, but I'm too damn stressed and upset right now.

Half way done!

So I'm officially half-way thru my pregnancy. Hopefully next wednesday we'll find out what we're having, either a Josie or a Max. I'm trying to not get my hopes up, so far this baby doesn't like to cooperate. I think it's a girl, but who knows.

On a side note, I think I prefer being pregnant during the summer. I don't get outside much in the winter, plus I suffer from Seasonal Depression Disorder occasionally, and this year, with all the extra hormones, it's really noticable. It's very hard for me to just get out of bed some mornings, especially while Keith was on vacation and could take care of Matthew. The weather has been in the 40's, even the 50's lately, so I have been able to get out a bit, but not nearly as much as I'd like. Every little bit helps, tho. At least during the summer I can go to the pool as much as I like, and I felt great during Matthew's pregnancy (born in August).

It's a good thing Keith is taking me to San Jose with him later this month! Lot's o' sunshine (I hope)! I can't wait!

What kind of princess are you?

Me, I'll kick your ass!


The Warrior Princess

You are strong, courageous, and dynamic, a woman of
action. You have an iron will and a sharp
tongue. Indecisive, weak, or wishy-washy people
test your patience. You tend to grow bored
quickly and yearn for excitement.

Role Models: Brunhilde/The Valkyries, Xena

You are most likely to: Lead your people to victory
against an army of orcs.


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