My hubby rocks. He brought me home a dozen roses last night, along with a really good hug. And since I spend so much time at my computer, I split them up and have some upstairs and some downstairs to look at.
Knowing that he reads my blog made it so much easier to tell him how depressed I am WITHOUT the screaming and bawling and attacking that would have happened if I'd told him face to face. Something he really didn't deserve.
I'm suffering for the worse case of Seasonal Depression I've had in the last 7 years. Usually, I go to the tanning bed once a week, starting in November or December, and that takes care of the problem.
I'm pregnant, and can't go to the tanning bed. I'm pregnant, and have a shitload of extra hormones magnigfying my depression. I'm pregnant, and can't take any anti-depressants.
The only thing holding my sanity together for the last month has been the anticipation of a trip to San Jose with my hubby, WITHOUT the two year old. I'm a stay-at-home mom. I don't work outside of the home. To me, 5 days without my two year old sounded like heaven, not to mention that it was someplace warmer than where I live.
And then, on the same day my sanity was pulled out from under me, I had to get the absolute worst sonogram technician EVER. (I'm sure she's not really the worst, but it sure seemed like it). She THINKS the baby might be a girl, but my midwife said that she's been wrong the last two times she thought it was a girl. She didn't take her time at all, just rushed thru the whole exam, not really even talking. I didn't find out any info from her, but from the midwife AFTER the sonogram.
I'm sorry, but as a parent, one of the main reasons I get a sonogram at all is to find out what the sex of the baby is. Yes, I want to see the heart, and the spine, and the fluid, and to make sure the placenta is in the proper place, but dammit, it's just as important to me to count how many fingers and toes the baby has too. (I actually know a lady who's baby was born with an extra finger.) The baby has sex organs, take your damn time and FIND THEM.
And then there was the whole issue of making me wait a half hour for my appt. When you go in for a sonogram, you're supposed to have a full bladder, it helps in finding the baby. I had to wait without being able to go to the bathroom. The receptionist also told me that the door was closed, so she could't go in and find out how much longer it was going to take, a privacy issue. THE DAMN DOCTOR WHO MADE THE TECH LATE IN THE FIRST PLACE JUST BARGED IN DURING MY SONOGRAM, EVEN THO THE DOOR WAS CLOSED. So apparently Doctors in this office are above the rules.
Is it any wonder after a day like this that I couldn't stop crying?
So today's been a pretty shitty day so far.
So I'm officially half-way thru my pregnancy. Hopefully next wednesday we'll find out what we're having, either a Josie or a Max. I'm trying to not get my hopes up, so far this baby doesn't like to cooperate. I think it's a girl, but who knows.
On a side note, I think I prefer being pregnant during the summer. I don't get outside much in the winter, plus I suffer from Seasonal Depression Disorder occasionally, and this year, with all the extra hormones, it's really noticable. It's very hard for me to just get out of bed some mornings, especially while Keith was on vacation and could take care of Matthew. The weather has been in the 40's, even the 50's lately, so I have been able to get out a bit, but not nearly as much as I'd like. Every little bit helps, tho. At least during the summer I can go to the pool as much as I like, and I felt great during Matthew's pregnancy (born in August).
It's a good thing Keith is taking me to San Jose with him later this month! Lot's o' sunshine (I hope)! I can't wait!
Me, I'll kick your ass!
The Warrior Princess
You are strong, courageous, and dynamic, a woman of
action. You have an iron will and a sharp
tongue. Indecisive, weak, or wishy-washy people
test your patience. You tend to grow bored
quickly and yearn for excitement.
Role Models: Brunhilde/The Valkyries, Xena
You are most likely to: Lead your people to victory
against an army of orcs.
What Kind of Princess are You? - Beautiful Artwork (Original Music is BACK!!!)
brought to you by Quizilla
I totally scored in the christmas gift department! I got a new Chi Flat iron, a tempurpedic matress topper, a really cool baby blanket hand made by one of my best friends, a set of really awesome sheets for my bed (which I really needed) and more! Matthew got puzzles, rock 'em sock em' robots, crayons, markers, and more crayons (he LOVES crayons, so he's happy). Keith got money for new tires on his car, a really nifty shirt from www.thinkgeek.com, and a wireless car adapter/charger for his Ipod shuffle.
We haven't even gone down to the in-laws yet! Keith and I got our presents from my mil already (mattress topper and money for tires), but we still have presents to collect from his brother and family. Woohoo!
And Matthew finally figured out that opening presents is a good thing! Of course, the first one he opened this morning had crayons and markers, so he didn't want to open anything else. Brat.
I hate having a cold. It truly sucks ass. I swear, the only time I ever get sick is while I'm pregnant. With Matthew, I had the one and only bout of the flu I've ever had, and it was not fun at all. To top it off, Keith has a cold too, and with Matthew's ear infection we are just a bastion of icky germs.
Oh well. We're mostly healthy.
And I'd like to add my congratulations to my brother Thom, and his new fiance Aundra. They will be getting married in September. Best wishes for a warm and happy marriage.
So it turns out Matthew has an ear infection in his left ear and needs antibiotics, woohoo. Both Keith and I are also not feeling great, just colds, but still annoying. Oh well, the last time I had to take Matt into the dr was Sept, and that was just for his two-year checkup, so on the whole, pretty healthy.
So I'm almost to the end of my 18th week, and it's been extremely busy. Sunday, we went down to Keith's mom's house for the huge family dinner, Tuesday we went back down for our neice's birthday party (and stayed the night, coming home Wednesday), on our way home, Matthew developed a 103.4 degree fever (he's better now, yay!), Saturday night we have Christmas dinner with my adopted family (Kris doesn't make friends, she makes sisters), and then Sunday, after opening our presents from each other, we get to go back to Keith's mom's for Christmas dinner. I'm stuffed, and I still have two more dinners!
I do have all of my shopping done, and all but two presents are wrapped and under the tree. The missing two are in the mail somewhere, hopefully they'll get here by Saturday.
Oh, and I get a massage tonight, woohoo!
I had my midwife appt today, and like the dork I am, I totally forgot to find out what the actual heartrate was. I did find out that Matthew's heartrate was in the 140's and 150's, tho. This baby is a little more contrary already. With Matthew, finding his heartbeat (and certain parts of his anatomy during the sonnogram) were extremely easy. This one, you find it, and then s/he moves. S/he doesn't like to cooperate at all. 4 more weeks, and we'll know for certain (I hope) what the sex of the baby is.
Okay, so I'm an idiot, and totally forgot how many weeks along I am! I had to go back and count. It's so freakin' cold here in KC (11 degrees F) that I don't go anywhere or see anyone, so no one asks me how far along I am, and since I'm not sick anymore (and counting down to feeling better), I just don't think about it. I did this during my first pregnancy too, about the same time! I had to mark it on my calender, and I'll have to do that this time too.
Other than none of my clothes fitting anymore (regular clothes too small, maternity too big), I feel great. Nothing like only having track pants to wear to bring you down, I swear.
I've always known what my first son's name would be, and what my first daughter's name would be. I've already got my first boy, so now we had to come up with another boy name. I finally ran my name generator (that I use for Sims 2, no less!), and we actually agreed on a name that's not tooo English/Roman conqueror from history.
Max Lucian Sader. And everyone will ask "what's Max short for, Maximilian?", and he'll say "it's short for Max, thank you very much." Kinda like when people ask Keith what his middle name is. (it's Keith, duh.)
Oh, and if it's a girl, her name will be Josie Lynn. So now we wait for January's sonnogram.
Yesterday I did something I haven't done since before I found out I was pregnant. I played my Sims 2 game, y'all! Don't know why, but the mood just struck me, so I went with it. For someone who used to play the game almost every single day, 3 months is a long time. But, phases come and go, I suppose. I don't know if I will go back to playing it that often, but at least I'm getting my money's worth now.
On the pregnancy front, I've now felt the baby move. Driving home from Target with a full bladder and a baby that has the hiccups will do that. It's still too early to feel the baby move on a regular basis, I'm only in my 14th week. Not much new to report other than that. I'll have my sonnogram done in January, and have pictures to post, I'm sure.
We heard the heartbeat of the baby today! It was just as cool as the first time I heard Matt's heartbeat. I don't remember what Matt's heartbeat was, but this baby has a heartrate of 155.
I'm officially in my second trimester now, and I'm definately feeling better. Still a little tired, but, eh. The bad news is I can't fit into my jeans anymore, but I'm still too small for maternity clothes. It's too cold to wear skirts, and I only have three pair of pants that fit! Oh well.
What kind of humanist are you? Click here to find out.
I'm getting a few spam comments each week, so I'm turning on the word verification for comments.
Well, I'm almost to the end of week 12, and I think I'm starting to feel better. If I don't eat, I still get extremely nausous, and I'm still tired, but I don't feel nearly as bad as I was. Not much else to report, my next midwife appt is next wed, the 16th. I'll post an update then. Hopefully we'll be able to hear the heartbeat.
