The Hoochi Mama Blog

What the???

2007-10-08T13:24:00.001-07:00

So last week, I got the bright idea to delete a gmail account that I never use.

Somehow I deleted this entire blog! 3 years, down the drain. I cried. Then I went and smoked a cigarette. Then I got angry because there is no easy way to contact an actual person at Google. I finally found one, and a week later I have my blog back!

But I'm so addicted to blogging now, I couldn't last a whole week without blogging. Sad, I know.

My new blog, where I'll be updating now, is over here. I'm leaving this one as it is, it's got some really cool stuff I didn't really want to lose on it.

See ya in the funny papers!

There's a new virus you should be aware of.

2007-09-26T06:43:00.000-07:00

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand.

This virus is called Weary-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private Life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the Antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 Friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life .

*snicker*

Anniversaries.

2007-09-25T14:19:00.000-07:00

This coming Sunday, the 30th of September, is my parent's 40th wedding anniversary. My brother's 1st anniversary is the following Sunday, October 7th.

I haven't really spoken to my brother since he told me I would not be welcome at his wedding last year. I haven't spoken to my father since this post, and I've only had minor email conversations with my mom since this post.

I've not been told of, let alone invited to, any anniversary party anyone might be throwing for my parents. Not that that surprises me or anything.

Mom & Dad, happy anniversary. I love you.

Tom and Andra, happy anniversary. I love you.

Happy birthday to my "baby", Earl, who turned 22 today.

Well, duh.

2007-09-24T13:36:00.000-07:00

You are Agnostic

You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care.
For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine.
You rather focus on what you can control - your own life.
And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

Tell me something I didn't know!

Mwuahah!

2007-09-23T16:15:00.000-07:00

Analysis: Bush Unwelcome on the Trail

MACKINAC ISLAND, Mich. — Republican presidential candidates can't be any more clear: President Bush isn't welcome on the campaign trail.

Competing to succeed him, top GOP candidates Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney, Fred Thompson and John McCain barely utter Bush's name. They essentially ignore the lame-duck president, or give him only passing credit, as they rail against the status quo and promise to fix problems he hasn't solved.

"We all know Americans want change," said McCain, an Arizona senator, explaining the aversion to aligning with Bush. "I give him credit for a number of things but I think the fact is Americans are turning the page, including our Republican primary voters."

The candidates are walking a fine line. They are trying to tap into the deep discontent those voters feel about the state of the country without alienating any who hold Bush in high regard. At the same time, they have to counter the Democrats' powerful arguments for a new direction.

I'm with Poodles. I hope he tries to help!

Linkage update

2007-09-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

So after the recent blog meet ups we've had here in KC (some of which I've actually attended), I thought I should update my links.

I added more locals, and an entire new section! Now my links actually resemble my bookmarks! Well, except that my bookmarks aren't nearly so organized.

Because I fell out of my chair laughing....

2007-09-21T10:04:00.000-07:00

Bush says he will be a "strong asset" to 2008 Republicans.

WASHINGTON (AFP) - President George W. Bush insisted on Thursday he will be a "strong asset" for Republicans battling for election in 2008, despite shaky opinion poll ratings born of a tumultuous presidency.
Bush, who has 16 months left in his second term, laid out a battle-plan for 2008 Republican candidates, based on a robust 'war on terror' policy, support for Iraq and low taxes.
"Strong asset," Bush said emphatically, when asked at a White House news conference whether he would be an asset or liability for Republicans in presidential and congressional elections next year.

"Candidates who go out and say that the United States is vulnerable to attack and we're going to make sure our professionals have the tools necessary to protect us are going to do well," said Bush, who appeared invigorated by the question.

Are you fucking kidding me? An ass, maybe. Many candidates have already started distancing themselves from him. Moron.

I just wish the Dems would actually take a stand for the American people. Fucking politics.

Avast , me hearties!

2007-09-19T07:58:00.000-07:00

Ahoy!

Today be Talk like a Pirate Day, so AVAST! Crawl out of that bung hole and have some grog!

And I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!

Arrrrr!

Mood: Incredibly sad

2007-09-12T02:13:00.000-07:00

I have to go buy a red dress.

9/11, times 6.

2007-09-11T06:53:00.000-07:00

Six years. It's really hard to believe. I'm really kinda irked they haven't started rebuilding the two towers. And Homeland Security? What a joke. We are LESS safe today than we were 6 years ago, and it will not get better until someone who actually gives a fuck is in the White House.

After Matt gets home from preschool, we'll watch the 9/11 documentary by the two French brothers, something I do every year on this day.

Thanks to Yahoo! news, I found this gem today. I don't know what I'll do this year, if anything, but next year, I'll plan something me and the kids can do together, volunteer somewhere or something. I'd go give blood today, but who wants to take a 16 month old with them when they get a needle stuck in their arm?

Do something good today.

YES!

2007-09-10T16:44:00.000-07:00

My jeans finally go up over my hips!

Before you all go hatin' on me about thinking I'm complaining about my weight, this has NOTHING to do with my weight (okay, maybe a little) and EVERYTHING to do with having a baby 16 months ago.

Babies make things wider, and it takes quite a while for them to get back to the way they were before.

Now, the belly stuff hanging over the front of my jeans, yeah, that's all about the weight, but I'm blaming that on the baby too. It couldn't possibly be because I'm a lazy bum who spends way to much time on my computer playing Sims 2. Not that at all.

sniff

2007-09-03T06:44:00.001-07:00

Bye, Pearl!

Pre School!

2007-08-28T19:14:00.000-07:00

Today Matthew actually attended pre-school! Of course I overslept (the alarm didn't go off, or the benadril made me sleep through it, one of the two), so I was very happy that Keith went in to work late so he could be a part of Matthew's first day (attending) pre-school. Keith got the kids fed and dressed while I scrambled around getting myself ready.

After dropping Matthew off in the care of his wonderful teachers, I brought Keith back home, then went to the DMV to renew the CR-V's license for another two years. By the time I got home, I only had about 30 minutes before I had to leave to pick up Matthew. Of course the traffic light where I needed to turn left was acting up, and made me (2 minutes) late, and Matthew was so upset that I wasn't there to pick him up when he got outside. *sigh*

He said he loves school, and he wants to go back again. YAY!

Now if this allergic reaction I'm having to something completely unknown would go away, I'd be golden!

Pre-School

2007-08-22T14:50:00.000-07:00

So, tomorrow is Matthew's first day of pre-school.

Right now, he has a fever. 102.5 F.

I think he's going to miss his first day of school.

*pulls hair*

I swear, I just brought him home yesterday!

2007-08-17T05:18:00.001-07:00

Today, Matthew turns FOUR years old!

His very first picture, ever:

First day of life outside the womb:

Two years old:Three years old:

Being a punk rocker for Halloween last year:

Oh, and the mohawk is back! But I don't have a
picture to post of it.

Next week, he starts pre-school. *sniff*

The locals are at it again!

2007-08-16T15:15:00.000-07:00

What: Monthly Blogger Meetup

When: Tuesday, August 21st - 5 p.m. till whenever you wanna leave!

Where: Charlie Hooper's in Brookside (12 W. 63rd Street, KC, MO 64113)

Goodies: $1 domestic draws & $1, $2, and $3 appetizers from 3 - 7 p.m. (Stuff like pizzas, spin dip, and jalapeno poppers...yum!)

Be there or be square!

back

2007-08-15T06:08:00.000-07:00

Well, we're back home now.

Venice Beach was awesome; coming home to 100F and screaming children kinda sucked.

So Long, suckers!

2007-08-09T09:43:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow, Keith and I head out to Sunny California for a (much needed) 5-day vacation without the children.

The forecast for the particular area we're going? Highs in the low 80's, lows in the upper 60's.

The forecast for Kansas City? 101F, low 74F

heh, don't you wish you were going with us?!

Guess I need to change the color of my blog.....

2007-08-02T06:53:00.000-07:00

Your Psyche is Red

You are bright, bold, energetic, and intense.
Your upbeat, zany energy inspires those who are down.
Spontaneous and playful, you also have a courageous and fearless side.

When you are too red: you are angry, overprotective, and truly scary.

When you don't have enough red: you are depleted and lifeless.

What Color Is Your Psyche?

Who the heck is Marcus Brigstocke?

2007-08-01T06:54:00.000-07:00

Stolen from pharyngula.

Venting

2007-07-31T18:13:00.000-07:00

An open letter to the manager at Target in charge of the dairy section:

Grow some balls and call your vendor for organic milk every 30 minutes until the truck shows up with your milk. Having absolutely NO organic milk for more than two days is completely UNACCEPTABLE.

I spend hundreds of dollars every month at Target. I CHOOSE to shop at Target instead of Wal-Mart (which is right across the intersection, btw).

Someone should also be calling headquarters (or whoever is in charge of deciding which vendors you use) and letting them know what a horrible job this particular vendor is doing, and maybe work on getting a different vendor.

For every customer that actually asks why you don't have any organic milk, there are at least 10 more that don't. I'm sure not all of them are quite as pissed off as I am. But I came to the store last night with only one item on my list, along with a headache. You didn't have the item I needed, and I didn't have time to go to a different store. I was also told last night (Monday) that the delivery truck would arrive today (Tuesday). When I went this evening, around 7pm, you still did not have ANY organic milk. NONE. I had to go to Wal-mart to get organic milk (because I am out, and I use it every day). They had plenty, so there doesn't seem to be a problem with the actual supply of organic milk, just your vendor.

One very loyal, but extremely pissed off customer.

I'm not actually sending this in, but I needed to vent someplace without yelling at my hubby. It's not his fault the manager at Target can't get their vendor to deliver.

Not to mention that I'm quite put out at myself for being upset over something as stupid as milk. GRRRR.

Yay!

2007-07-28T17:10:00.000-07:00

We got our air conditioner fixed! (it only cost us $575!) The guy came out this afternoon and spent maybe 45 minutes replacing the motor, and now our house is almost cooled back down! Now, $575 sounds like a lot, and it is, but..... to completely replace the unit, it would have been around $3200. We were happy they could fix it!

Sweet, sweet air conditioning, oh, how I love thee!

oh joy

2007-07-27T17:20:00.000-07:00

So one of our air conditioners broke today, the one that cools the upstairs. We're having issues with our sprinkler system (it won't shut off, even when you've turned it off). And my Sims 2 game (or my computer, not really for sure) is broken (won't load, won't even uninstall).

Don't you wish you were us!

Gah.

It's a good thing it's only supposed to reach a high of 85 this weekend, I don't know how I'd survive the 90's with the 60% humidity. I've done it before, but it's not fun, that's for sure.

In which I resurface from the land of Harry Potter

2007-07-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

No, I won't give any spoilers away, if that's what you're worried about.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is the best book in the series. It makes you laugh in the middle of bawling. Many, many people (and other creatures) die. Several that you know. And Snape, well, you definitely find out where his loyalty lies. Pretty much every question is answered. It totally rocks.

Thank you, Jo, for this magical experience you've taken us on. I hope my children (when they're older) love your books as much as I do.

2007-07-19T06:50:00.000-07:00

From Pharyngula:

Fundamentalists: believe 2+2 =5 because It Is Written. Somewhere. They have a lot of trouble on their tax returns.

"Moderate" believers: live their lives on the basis that 2+2=4. but go regularly to church to be told that 2+2 once made 5, or will one day make 5, or in a very real and spiritual sense should make 5.

"Moderate" atheists: know that 2+2 =4 but think it impolite to say so too loudly as people who think 2+2=5 might be offended.

"Militant" atheists: "Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?"

Hypocrites, as usual.

2007-07-13T05:25:00.000-07:00

So, apparently, every morning the Senate (of our US of A) starts off with a morning prayer. WTF? Separation of Church and State, anyone?

Well, guess what, you ignorant fundies. You let one denomination in, you let them ALL in.

So much for acting like Jesus and showing respect for others.

Thanks, Pmomma, for the link.

Keith Olbermann is my new crush.....

2007-07-06T06:42:00.000-07:00

If only......

Who, me?

2007-06-26T08:13:00.000-07:00

So XO over at Hip Suburban White Guy tagged me a few days ago for the 8 Random Things About Me me-me. ME! He tagged ME! I'm finally popular enough to be tagged!

I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

Okay, on to learning even MORE about me! It's not like this blog is my outlet for sharing my thoughts or opinions, right?

1. I grew up not having a TV in the house. Apparently my parent's tv died when I was two, and they just never replaced it. They finally got another when I was 12. My mom did tell me once that she absolutely hated Big Bird. Guess I watched Sesame Street when I was little!

2. My cb radio handle is two-bit. I hated it. Back in the day, when cb radios were the 'thing' and there were no cell phones, my parents used it to communicate when my dad was working. We only had one car, so it made sense. My dad's handle is Yankee Clipper, and my mom's is Lady Clipper. I should have been baby clipper or something like that. Two-bit sucked ass.

3. I have been technically homeless. Fortunately, I had enough friends I always had a place to stay until I found my own place.

4. I almost flunked my freshman art class when I was a senior in high school. It was my fine arts credit, too. Very important. If I flunked that class, I didn't graduate! I should have just taken Spanish III.

5. I am a Sims addict. I had every single expansion pack (EP) for the original Sims, and every EP for the Sims 2. I only have one of their 'stuff packs', though. I still have my original Sims games, but they are no longer on my computer.

6. I am the best cook in my family. Seriously. My grandmother's idea of potatoes were those that came from a box. And that is why Keith used to do most of the cooking. I cook more (and better than I used to) now that he works later, but you have no idea how happy I am that I fell in love with someone that knows how and LIKES to cook. (And his smoked ribs & chicken are to die for!)

7. I love reading the Harry Potter books. When I first heard of the series, I decided to not read them because I figured if they were as good as everyone was saying, I'd get addicted, and then have to suffer the wait until the next book was released. A few years later, the movies started. Keith and I liked the first movie so much, we started reading the books. I think there were only 4 books at that time, so I've been waiting with everyone else anyway. Oh well, they ARE good.

8. There are times when I hate having children. They suck so much out of you. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my children. I wouldn't give them up, or trade them for anything. I may even have another. But there are moments when I wish they didn't live with me 24/7. And then Matthew will run up to me, hug me, and say "I love you mommy!" and I just melt. Big puddle on the floor. Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done. And I've escaped a toxic religion, so doing hard things is not a foreign concept to me. I'd have to say that it is also one of the most rewarding things I have ever done.

There. Eight things about me. I'm not going to tag anyone, except maybe Fate!

2007-06-25T08:49:00.000-07:00

So everyone knows that Kieth and I had our 6th anniversary earlier this month, right? I mean, its not like we tried to burn down our house or anything like that.

And pretty much everyone that reads this blog knows about the many issues I have with my parent's religion.

So I have finally moved on from the feelings this post inspired, and then I get an email from my mother. Five days AFTER my anniversary. *WM means Wal-Mart*

happy 6th anniversary.hope you are doing, ok we are. i quit W M. am working with Dad. stress level is way down. am happier, have time to play in my garden. going to columbia,mo for assembly in aug.

These few sentences tell me so very much. The date tells me my parents still don't have internet at home, my mom had to go to the library to send me this email. It tells me that my mom probably had to sneak out to the library to use the internet. And it tells me that they weren't even in town the beginning of June (so they weren't ignoring me after all).

After many days of deliberation, I finally found a way to tell my mom how hurt I was, hopefully without being to mean about it.

I'm so glad you're happy and less stressed! Everyone is doing fine up here, Josie is now 13 months old and walking all over the place. Matthew will be four in August (I swear, I just brought him home yesterday!). Keith has a really awesome job with *****, the *** company. I'm still staying at home with the kids right now, most days I love it, some days they drive me crazy.

I must say, though, that I was very hurt and upset when you didn't call to see your grandchildren during the assembly here in Kansas City. I had no way of knowing that you weren't here, but I do keep track of things that are going on in the religion. I know when the assemblies are (I even know most of what is talked about at the assemblies), I know about the new Watchtower formats, and all the new rules the Governing Body has imposed upon you all.

I'm not stupid, but I also can't read your mind to know which assembly you attend, so you not calling during the assembly up here really hurt me, mostly because you're denying my children the chance to get to know you. And you are a wonderful person, a person worthy of being known.

And sadly, I don't really know you, not who you were when you were younger. I don't know what hopes and dreams you had, I don't know many stories of your youth, and I don't know what makes you tick.

All I know is that you have let Dad (another person worthy of being known) guilt everyone in the family into not having any contact with me or your sister. I know that you sneak away about once a year to have lunch with your sister. I know that you probably had to sneak away to the library just to email me.

I sit here in tears because I hurt so much. I hurt for myself, I hurt for my children, and I hurt for you and dad.

I, too, am worthy of being known, and so are my children. But you don't know who I am anymore. You don't know my dreams, for me or my children, and you never ask.

Love is not a feeling, Mom, Love is an action. Love is an email, love is a phone call, love is a letter, love is a hug, and love is being there for your children when they need you.

When I needed you most, you were denied me, and you were denied being here for me.

Sad what the rules of 9-12 men in Brooklyn who run a publishing company have done to our lives, isn't it?

I've seen their version of love first hand, and quite honestly, want absolutely nothing to do with it ever again. I have something more precious. I have UNCONDITIONAL love. It's absolutely amazing.

I wish it would actually make a difference in how they treat me, but, truly, I'm not holding my breath. Nothing will change until my father is gone. And that in and of itself makes me sad.

Is this right?

2007-06-22T08:39:00.000-07:00

My heart bleeds for the many women like April.

Mom in Jail, Baby is the bail.

Someone who actually knows April.

Thanks, Sassywho, for the links.

Snicker

2007-06-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

Mingle² - Online Dating

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

death (3x)
drugs (1x)

Death rates a pg-13? Wow.

Because I haven't showed off my kids lately

2007-06-19T17:43:00.000-07:00

Kisses for you!

See how flexible I am!

Yeah, I'm THAT cool.

Who, me?

First hair cut!

After first haircut!

Interesting.

2007-06-19T07:11:00.001-07:00

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

uug, part II

2007-06-14T17:21:00.000-07:00

Migraine has downgraded to headache, finally. I actually feel like doing more than sleeping. Yay. Maybe now my laundry will get done before we go to grandma's house this weekend.

In the funny category, check out the original Die Hard movie, done in 30 seconds and reenacted by bunnies.

uug

2007-06-13T18:20:00.000-07:00

Migraine today. Posting will resume when it's gone and I've caught up on the housework and errands.

blech.

Hell Yeah!

2007-06-11T08:25:00.000-07:00

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Lara Croft,A thrill-seeking, slightly unscrupulous, tough-as-nails archaeologist, Lara Croft travels the world in search of ancient relics perhaps better left hidden. She packs two Colt .45s and has no fear of jumping off buildings, exploring creepy tombs, or taking on evil meglomaniacs bent on world domination.

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

We'll laugh in a year or two.

2007-06-11T06:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was hubby and I's 6th wedding anniversary. Instead of our traditional dinner out at a steak house, we decided to cook our own steak at home.

Let me just say, its much cheaper to go out.

We wound up eating Subway for dinner, and we now need to replace our stove hood. And we will never try to flambe something in our kitchen ever again.

Keith should have pictures of the aftermath up at the family site soon.

edited to add: It was Steak au Poivre, from Alton Brown. The steaks were fine, it was the brandy that we had issues with!

Keith's comments here, and pictures here.

Because I almost peed my pants laughing so hard.

2007-06-09T08:21:00.000-07:00

LonelyFallon32

Constitution? We don't need no stikin' Constitution!

2007-06-07T08:13:00.000-07:00

Just in case you thought your Constitutional right to Free Speech was protected by law no matter what:

Sorry, Rudy, but this isn't going to help your campaign.

sigh

2007-06-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

This past weekend (June 1-3), my parents were here in Kansas City for their Annual District Convention of Jehovah's Witnesses. This year's theme was "Follow The Christ".

I wonder if any of these points were mentioned?

Jesus did not shun those who were shunned due to religious decrees. Not one.

The first person Jesus (supposedly) told as to his supernatural identity was the Samaritan woman at the well, who had slept with 7 men and was shacking up with another man. Jesus put this horrible sinner first and never condemned her at all.

The only group ever condemned directly by Jesus own mouth according to the traditional gospels were the religious leaders who put laws before people that were too much for them to bear. (read up on Matt 23 and compare to the Governing Body)

I'm guessing not, seeing as how my parents didn't even call to see their only grandchildren.

Exactly what do my parents think I'm going to tell my children when they ask me why their grandparents never see them? That mommy did something really really bad and this is her punishment? That mommy left the only true God and condemned myself and them to destruction at Armageddon?

I'll tell you what I'm going to tell my children. I'm going to tell them that their grandparents love them the best that they can, but they belong to a religion that forbids them to have any contact with their only daughter because I dared to leave the church I was raised in. I dared to be an independent thinker and dared to question the authority of 9-12 MEN. I refused to let MEN tell me who I could and could not talk to or associate with. I refused to let MEN tell me, that because I was born a woman, I would always be a second-class citizen.

I refused to be a victim my whole life, never thinking that I was good enough for God.

I refused to lie about who I am to fit into their small mold of what is acceptable. I am so much more than that. According to them, God created each and everyone of us, but yet to follow God, we're not allowed to reach our full potential.

I cry for my children for the loss of their grandparents, whom they will most likely never know.

I cry for myself for the loss of my parents, for their love requires them to love the law of men more than their daughter.

I cry for my parents who will never know just how beautiful and wonderful their grandchildren truly are.

I cry for my brother who will never realize his dream of a Masters in Physics because to do so would take too much time away from his God (not to mention would completely destroy his faith and make him as evil as me).

My parents and brothers are more than a religion, but the chance to know them as people has been stolen from me.

Mmmmmm, chocolate.....

2007-06-02T19:07:00.001-07:00

You are Dark Chocolate

You live your life with intensity, always going full force.

You push yourself (and others) to the limit... you want more than you can handle.

An extreme person, you challenge and inspire the world!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

God is amazing!

2007-05-27T16:52:00.000-07:00

A little long (10 minutes), but worth it!

One year ago today!

2007-05-19T06:03:00.000-07:00

My baby is a whole year old!

Later I'll post before/after shots of her first haircut!

On the death of Jerry Falwell.....

2007-05-16T13:25:00.000-07:00

In the words of Clarence Darrow*...

I've never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.

I really don't have mixed feelings on this one. This man was the exact opposite of what a Christian should be. He preached hate and bigotry very loudly. I have no respect for him, even when some say they respect that he held very strong beliefs. Just because you "believe" something, doesn't mean you deserve respect.

I know all about believing in something that isn't true. There is no respect from me when what you believe hurts people.

*edited because I didn't check my facts before posting

Yep, sounds like me!

2007-05-15T07:08:00.001-07:00

You Are 24% Lady

You tend to make up your rules of etiquette, throwing all conventions aside.
And while you try to be a lady (sometimes), your behavior is often quite shocking.

Are You A Lady?

Optimism in Pessimism

2007-05-04T18:06:00.000-07:00

You scored as Existentialist. Existentialism emphasizes human capability. There is no greater power interfering with life and thus it is up to us to make things happen. Sometimes considered a negative and depressing world view, your optimism towards human accomplishment is immense. Mankind is condemned to be free and must accept the responsibility.

What is Your World View?
created with QuizFarm.com

1972

2007-04-27T07:10:00.000-07:00

Today, I turn 35.

I don't feel 35 in my brain, but my body reminds me quite often. Nothing major, just minor things, like those extra 20 pounds leftover from my second pregnancy didn't just fall off like they did after the first pregnancy. Knees that hurt at just the thought of going to the gym. Little things like that.

A lot has happened in the last year. I had a baby last May. My brother invited me, then UN-invited me to his wedding. My blood family stopped talking to me completely. I had a breakdown. I started therapy. My son turned 3. Someone I considered my best friend turned her back on me. Someone else, whom I also considered my best friend, stuck with me through all the shit I've been through the last year, and truly became my sister. I adopted a new brother (Hi, Andrew!).

Even with all the family shit, it's been a fairly good year for me. I have two beautiful children and a wonderful husband. I have "adopted" family who truly cares for me. I have a wonderful mother-in-law. I have great friends on the internet (only some of who I've met).

If the sun stays out, I think I'll take the kids to the park today.

Oh, and hubby got me an Ipod shuffle for my b-day present! Go me!

Pro Life? Or Pro Death?

2007-04-25T08:01:00.000-07:00

Last week our SCOTUS raped every woman in this country. Last week, they made a decision for us, telling us that we do not have the ability to make our own medical decisions. They told us that our doctors aren't smart enough to help us make our medical decisions, despite the years of training and school our doctors have paid for. Not one man out of the 5 who raped us has ANY medical training (as far as I know). But yet they believe that we're stupid and they know what's best for us. Because Jebus told them so.

Last year, I made this post. Obviously, my emotional argurment was HYPOTHETICAL, just in case you go back and read it.

This past Sunday, DDB posted this. I hope my husband, my son, and my daughter and/or her partner NEVER has to make that kind of decision.

Here's another essay by Beth Quinn on the subject (thank you, Red Seven, for the link).

But - and here's the worst part - the justices ruled that there are NO cases except imminent death of the mother in which a D&E abortion can be legally performed now. Not to preserve her health. Not to save her uterus. The justices have replaced your doctor's judgment with their own.

Here is Gretchen Voss' story. If you can't feel her pain, you're not human.

When pro-lifers start showing respect for me, as a person, and recognize that they are NOT my parents and CANNOT and DO NOT have the right to make MY personal, medically informed, decisions, I MAY start showing them respect. Until then,

STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE AND MY GOVERNMENT.

If you're not pissed off, you're not paying attention.

Horribly late.

2007-04-23T12:32:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday, the 17th, there was a local bloggers meetup that Keith and I attended. We got to meet quite a few bloggers from the area, some I knew and some I didn't. I've added everyone to a new link list over on the right, called Local Blogroll. Not all of my local blogger links are in the local blogroll, however. The ones that were in my original list, like Gone Mild and Hip Suburban White Guy, I left them in my favorites.

It was really great meeting everyone, we had a really good time, even if our kids were hellions while we were gone!

exercise, part II

2007-04-17T19:17:00.000-07:00

I went to the gym AGAIN!

Monday, my activity for the day was walking around the block with the kids twice. That does equal a mile, so there was SOME activity.

But today I actually set my alarm, got up, fed the kids, fed myself, got everyone dressed, and drove to the gym.

I walked another 35 minutes on the treadmill at 3.5 for most of the time, and I actually sped it up enough to run for a minute, maybe two. 1.8 miles.

Something everyday, even if its small.

exercise

2007-04-15T10:06:00.000-07:00

I actually went to the gym yesterday. I actually walked for 35 minutes on the treadmill yesterday.

I am totally amazed at myself.

There's nothing like an extra 20 pounds that WILL NOT GO AWAY after having a baby to get me motivated to exercise.

My goal is to go to the gym at least 3 days a week to either walk on the treadmill or use the stairmaster. I also have exercises I do at home on the days I don't go to the gym.

Lofty goals, I know, but I refuse to beat myself up if I miss a day or two, or three.

Our Freedom

2007-04-07T07:38:00.000-07:00

It is our freedom, as Americans, to believe (or not believe) as we see fit. Many in Government are trying to take that freedom (along with other freedoms) away from us.

This weekend is Blog Against Theorcracy weekend. I truly hope that those who think that this country should have laws based on their religion take a moment to stop and think about the consequences if that were to truly happen.

Reality

2007-03-30T06:31:00.000-07:00

For those of you who still support Governor Bush:

Eight long years

2007-03-20T19:04:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday, Keith came into the bathroom as I was getting ready to take my shower. He showed me an envelope, and told me it was the very last ever payment on my student loan from Cosmotology School. I was so happy, I cried in the shower!

For the last few years, I've been feeling very frustrated, being at home with the kids all the time. Due to my family raising me in a CULT, I was discouraged from ever going to college. I've felt cheated from having an education. Once Keith finished his degree back in December of 2005, we analized our financial situation, and determined that as soon as my student loan was paid off, I could start taking classes and get a degree. A degree in what, I'm still not sure.

Well, my student load is paid off! Matthew will be starting pre-school this fall, and I'm sure I can find reasonable child care for Josie. I get to go to college!

Now I just have to figure out what I want to do when I grow up.

I hope my kids are this smart!

2007-03-20T07:30:00.000-07:00

This is a true story, indicating how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically. A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.

She read, "and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?" The teacher paused then asked the class: "And what do you think the man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of- factly: "I think the man would have said: "Well, fuck me, a talking pig!"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

March 14.

2007-03-14T07:19:00.000-07:00

Happy Pi day!

Happy Steak & BJ day!

The more things stay the same.....

2007-03-12T11:46:00.000-07:00

The more things never change.

Let's see, PMS, a 3-day migrain, being in my home town without seeing my parents.

Yeah, that was my weekend. I hope yours was better.

In other news, Keith uploaded new pictures to the family site.

Pimped out goodness!

2007-03-07T18:34:00.000-08:00

I learned how to replace my header! Ain't it purtee? Now I'm off to Dooce to learn how to make the masthead myself!

THANK YOU, SMEDROCK!!!!! You're my hero!

I love Spring

2007-03-07T06:15:00.000-08:00

It may not be spring officially, but it's nice enough to break out the stroller and tricycle and walk around the block with the kids!

Matthew is REALLY good pedaling his tricycle now. He still can't pedal all the way up our driveway, but he's better than he was last year. Pretty soon, I'll have to power walk to keep up with him, which I am totally okay with! (I still have 20 pounds of baby weight to get rid of.)

So after my really crappy morning yesterday, we went for a walk. We went around our neighborhood block twice, which is about a mile. Monday we only went around once, and I hope to work our way up to four laps, equalling aprx. 2 miles, per day, at least on the nice days.

Here's to no more snow storms this season!

/rant on

2007-03-06T10:42:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I spent at least an hour cleaning up the kitchen. This morning when I went down to fix breakfast for Matt, it was a disaster. Apparently no one (including me) bothered to clean up from supper last night. The plates were still on the table.

There was cat puke on my stairs this morning.

I woke up not feeling well; congested, sinus drainage, the usual.

Matthew has been pushing all my buttons all day long.

My Sims2 game would not load this morning, no matter what I did (including removeing all hacks and custom content). I'm currently re-installing the game and all 5 expansion packs after deleting them. (I'm not stupid, I did save all my custom content)

Matthew got into the salt (that was left on the table) and made a mess all over the table and floor.

My goddamn mutherfucking phone (that Cingular sold me without telling me they had discontinued it) died in the middle of a conversation with my insurance to find out if I had any mental health coverage to help pay for my therapy. If I didn't want an IPhone so bad, I'd switch carriers. As it is, I have to put up with a phone that eats batteries for 3-4 more months.

/rant off. but I'm still pissy.

Taking an active interest in politics

2007-02-24T08:56:00.000-08:00

This morning was Coffee with Cleaver at Dunn Brother's Coffee on Red Bridge, which just happens to be right down the street from me. So I dragged my sorry butt out of bed and attended, because I had a few things to say to the Rev. Cleaver II.

Speaking with the good Reverand went quite well, I must say. I mostly support what he has done, and wished to thank him personally, and to discuss the bloating of Congress with stupid bills to give 'commendation' to sports teams.

The most interesting part of the morning, however, was speaking to the gentleman sitting at my table. Turns out his ex-wife converted to Jehovah's Witnesses, and his oldest daughter is disfellowshipped like me, and trying to cope with her mother and younger sister shunning her. He also has to deal with his youngest daughter not really allowing him to see his grandchildren.

Fucking religion.

He's also trying to form an organization that would get professional athletes to commit to being drug-free, so our young people that look up to them don't follow in their footsteps. I am all about getting people paid millions of dollars to play a stupid game (vs teachers who get paid shit to teach our children) to set a good example for our children.

Liberal media, my ass.

2007-02-22T19:50:00.000-08:00

Sign the petition.

Because it's not football if you don't break something.

2007-02-17T20:07:00.000-08:00

So, because my parents are allowed to speak with me, just not associate with me, my mom called me tonight to let me know that my youngest brother Earl broke his right ankle playing football today.

He broke the small bone, and dislocated pretty much everything else. He's going into surgery tomorrow (a SUNDAY) to put a plate on the broken bone. He is currently on a MORPHINE drip right now. He may get to go home on Tuesday.

Oh, did I mention that because he's a Jehovah's Witness, he dropped out of college, and works at a job where he has no medical insurance. He's 21 years old, and has thousands of dollars of medical debt now.

*sigh*

This is so me!

2007-02-14T07:08:00.000-08:00

Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"

You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love.
You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart.

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!)

Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic

What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays

Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

I dare anyone to disagree!

This is just insane!

2007-02-12T13:30:00.000-08:00

I can't do this, can you?

With teeth.

2007-02-08T16:10:00.000-08:00

And that's not just a NIN's song.

Miss Josie now has her third (3rd) tooth. It's been pushing through for the last few days, and today it finally popped through.

And yes, we've had a very miserable baby for last two days.

ugh

2007-02-04T20:04:00.000-08:00

Well, Josie caught a cold, gave it to EVERYONE in the house. Matthew has been running a fever off & on for three days now, I may have to take him to the dr for an ear infection. No fever for Josie, but Keith and I have both had low-grade fevers at some point this weekend. All the crap I'm coughing up is yellow, so I may have to go to the dr for a sinus infection.

Oh, and I have NO voice left, and my throat feels like it's on fire. I won't be leaving the house tomorrow, again. It's too damn cold.

and wtf is up with Prince? He only sang two of his own songs? I feel ripped off and want my time back. Not even a nipple to entertain us. sigh.

FUCK.

2007-01-31T06:47:00.000-08:00

So I'm watching the store for Kris this week, and I'm running late today. And I'm fighting a migraine. What do I do? I try to back out of my garage before the garage door is all the way up.

The garage door is now off the track, and bent out at the bottom, but it's down low enough that I can't get the car out, and I punched a hole in my crv, above the window.

FUCK.

edited to add: Keith came home and got it up enough to get the car out, then shut & locked it. I'll be using the front door for a while now. And I didn't punch a hole in the car, I popped the windshield fluid thingie off. We'll have to get that fixed.

Oh, and Josie's been crying all morning. Don't you want to be me?

my kids crack me up!

2007-01-26T09:02:00.000-08:00

My 3 year old is in his pajamas (refusing to take them off and get dressed), with his favorite blanket wrapped around him like a cape, and running up and down the hall saying "i'm a superhero!"

'scuse me while I go capture this on video!

grrrr.....

2007-01-22T23:44:00.000-08:00

So its 1:45 am, and I'm sitting here at my computer because my son woke me up around 12:30, then while I was putting him back to bed, he made enough noise to wake my daughter up, and now that they are both back asleep, I'm unable to sleep. I finally couldn't stand laying in bed having a theological argument I can't have with my father (because he won't talk to me) run around in my head. It's very frustrating, to say the least.

And now I'm hungry. I guess I could have some bread. I had a really bad sugar crash earlier this evening, so no more cookies and hot cocoa for me.

*bangs head against wall because I can't seem to stop rambling*

Yay!

2007-01-19T08:08:00.000-08:00

Jason is home! And what a sweet homecoming it was!

Welcome home, Jason, glad you made it back safely, and congrats on suprising Diana!

gah

2007-01-19T06:47:00.000-08:00

Well, our family site is down again. And this time, it's not RoadRunner's fault. Keith doesn't know what's wrong, but somewhere in the middle, somebody messed up. Hopefully it will be back up in a day or two.

edited: yay! it's back up! w00t!

Are you an Atheist?

2007-01-18T08:16:00.000-08:00

You are not alone!

Quotes from Humanists/Atheists.

Some of my favorites:

I do not believe in God, because I believe in man. Whatever his mistakes, man has for thousands of years past been working to undo the botched job your God has made.
- Emma Goldman

I'm an atheist, and that's it. I believe there's nothing we can know except that we should be kind to each other and do what we can for each other.
- Katharine Hepburn

Religion is a sort of spiritual booze, in which the slaves of capital drown their human image, their demand for a life more or less worthy of man.
- Vladimir Lenin

An Atheist loves himself and his fellowman instead of a god. An Atheist knows that heaven is something for which we should work now -- here on earth -- for all men together to enjoy.
- Madalyn Murray O'Hair

Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be.
- Frank Zappa

Nerdgasm

2007-01-09T17:33:00.000-08:00

The Apple iPhone!

Oh.
My.
FSM.

I WANT ONE!
*starts saving every last dime I can scrounge*

Because child molestation is WRONG.

2007-01-07T08:28:00.000-08:00

NO Religion should protect even ONE child molester. Not even God's "chosen" religion. ESPECIALLY God's "chosen" religion.

Dear Friends,

From time to time, even as recently as a couple of months ago, we have had formal requests from various forms of media groups. They are requesting silentlambs to provide victims of sexual abuse within the Jehovah's Witness organization to come forward in person and contribute their story. We have numerous individuals who remain 'on call' and have been in our call database since 2001.

We would appreciate it if you would forward a request to any and all new ones who would like to be on our 'call list' for future appearances in the media. For example we recently recieved a phone call one morning from a well known talk show wanting abuse victims and phone numbers who were willing to go on the show, and they were to be provided in a matter of two hours. We were able to follow through with this request. Hopefully this show will air soon.

Please forward this message to any who might be interested. They must contact us at our official website, www.silentlambs.org and be willing to tell their story. They may remain anonymous with the media if this is what they choose.

Thank you for passing this on.

silentlambs

http://www.silentlambs.org/

Demons

2007-01-05T08:56:00.000-08:00

I know I've been really quiet on the blog lately, but even with all the great things happening in my life right now, I've really been struggling with how my blood family treats me. For some reason, the love that is shown to me by people other than my blood family this past holiday season really intensified my grief, because that's how my blood family should be treating me. It doesn't help that I haven't had the money or the time to visit my 'head doctor' since November. I was supposed to see her last night, but Keith is working 10 hour days this week, so I won't see her until Monday.

oh well.

On the awesome side of life, Josie is now crawling and sitting up by herself. She LOVES to stand up as much as possible. Matthew loves his train set he got for christmas, almost as much as he loves the Thomas the tank engine that Billy got for him!

Last night, while both kids were in the bathtub, I heard Matthew yelling "NO" to Josie, and it sounded like she was crying. I say sounded like because after running down the hall to check on them, I discovered her laughing hysterically every time he would say "NO" to her. She was laughing so hard, she was falling over and hitting her head on the side of the tub. She just kept laughing, though, I guess it wasn't really hurting her. I called Keith in, and we both just stood there and laughed for about 5 minutes watching them play their little game.

Lesson learned: Baby's laughter is good for the soul. Fuck the chicken soup.

well....

2007-01-01T08:18:00.001-08:00

Happy newt ear.

May 2007 be everything you dream it could be.

Sisters by choice are the best sisters to have.

2006-12-23T18:59:00.000-08:00

I first met Kristina in 1998 while working at the Fox & the Hound on Metcalf. I was separated from my husband and going to cosmetology school. My parents and brothers had moved to Chapala, Mexico, not too far from Guadalajara. I had been kicked out of my religion. I had no friends, no family, and no support network.

For some reason unknown to me, Kris decided to befriend me. In doing so, she dragged me kicking & screaming into the extended Mulbrook family, giving me new parents and brothers. In doing so, she also gave me something I had never had until then, a sister.

Eight years later, we are still the closest of friends. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children. Sadly, my actual parents don’t really talk to me, even though they only live 3 hours away from me now.

I will always be grateful to Kristina and her family for taking me in, and for being some of the first people in my life to show me true unconditional love.

Thank you, Kristina, for fulfilling a need I didn’t even know I had.

sigh

2006-12-21T11:11:00.000-08:00

Just when the colds everyone had are almost gone, and Josie is on the mend from her ear infection....

Matthew woke up puking in the middle of the night, running a 103 fever. As long as I keep tylonol/ibuprofen in him, he acts fine. Otherwise, his fever shoots up and he's miserable.

I really don't have the energy for anyone else to get sick at our house. Really.

*sigh*

tis the season...

2006-12-20T07:56:00.000-08:00

for being busier than a one-armed paper hanger. I finally finished the super-secret christmas project I've been working on all month (hense the quiet on the blog), and I got most of my shopping done yesterday. I only have 2 presents left to get, and I'll be getting those on Saturday. I'm actually looking forward to shopping the saturday before christmas because I'll be hanging out with my sister-by-choice Kris, and I'll be WITHOUT the children! WOOT!

smile

2006-12-14T08:16:00.001-08:00

http://www.symphonyoflove.net/blog/?p=63

Glorious Sleep

2006-11-30T11:05:00.000-08:00

Friday night I went to the store for a few things, and indulged myself by buying a bag of chocolate covered peanuts from the bulk bin.

Now, chocolate covered peanuts and I have a long history together. My mom used to buy them from Mr. Bulky's and we would hide them from my dad and brothers because we were chicks and we didn't want to share. A lot of good memories associated with chocolate covered peanuts.

Not so much this bag. Keith and I were the only ones who ate them, and Keith and I were the only two in the house to come down with food poisoning early Saturday morning. There was no throwing up, but our stomachs were both upset, we both ran fevers, visited the bathroom, and generally felt like crap all day long. Turns out, someone must have sneezed or coughed into the bulk bin during refilling it, and we ingested the virus.

Remember those two precious angels we have? Yeah, the virus spread. They caught nasty colds. Fever, lack of appetite, coughing, runny nose, the works.

So, to recap, we've got two sick kids with two recovering parents. (Do you see where this is going?)

Sunday night, Josie could not breath while laying down. I had to prop her up on two pillows just so she could sleep more than 15 minutes at a time. Of course, she only slept 1, 1 1/2 hours at a time. And Matthew would get up every 15 minutes between 2am and 4am. Neither Keith nor I got much sleep that night. Pretty much the same thing happened Monday night.

Did I mention how high-maintenance the children were during the day? Okay, how high-maintenance Josie was? Matthew is just like Keith when he's sick, you check on him every now and then, make sure he's not hungry or thirsty and give him medicine, but you basically just leave him alone.

Josie, on the other hand, is an attention hog. By the end of the day, I'm emotionally exhausted from entertaining her and keeping her from screaming all day long. And that's on a normal day. When she's sick, she's worse. By the time Keith gets home from work, I can't take it anymore. I have used every weapon in my arsenal, and I'm done. Keith, of course, doesn't see all my tricks I use, he only sees a few. When he runs thru those, he doesn't really know what else to do with her. This frustrates me, but most days its no big deal.

Tuesday night, it was a big deal. I was running on so little sleep I had a complete breakdown. Keith of course, was running on the same lack of sleep that I was. I managed to keep us from escalating into a HUGE argument, but still, words were said that hurt.

My most humble apologies go to my husband.

Did I mention that Josie is also teething right now? Yeah. It's been fun. Not.

Tuesday night, I went to bed early, and the kids got up every 2-3 hours, so we got a bit more sleep than the previous nights, and last night Matthew slept ALL NIGHT! Josie only got up ONCE to eat. I actually feel mostly rested today! WOOT! We did a mental happy dance this morning! (still too tired to actually dance the happy dance, but oh well)

Maybe I won't use my therapist's time to take a nap after all today. :)

If this doesn't make you laugh,

2006-11-29T19:58:00.000-08:00

you are a cruel, heartless bastard who enjoys the suffering of small animals.

This will totally make your day, I promise!

Christmas-y goodness

2006-11-27T17:51:00.000-08:00

My tree is up, is yours?

Picture of tree with flash:

Picture of tree without the flash:

My angel at the top:

I hope everyone's holidays are merry,
and may peace be with you and yours.

I've been busy.

2006-11-22T14:33:00.000-08:00

But not for the usual reasons this time of the year. I have nothing to cook or bake for tomorrow, and dinner is not at my house! WOOT! (okay, we have frozen rolls to bake, but that's it.)

I do have TWO dinners to attend tomorrow, so we'll be pacing ourselves on the food.

Things I'm thankful for:

Having a wonderful husband who gives me the world.
Having two beautiful children that take my breath away with how precious they are.
Actually knowing what true unconditional love is and being able to give it to my children.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

As I seriously contemplate the whole nursing thing.

2006-11-09T07:04:00.000-08:00

Josie, who is now almost 6 months old, cut her first tooth yesterday! She's cute as a button, and nursing is good for her, but damn, that girl can bite. What's the damage going to be now that she has teeth? This is one milestone I have very mixed feelings about!

Midterm Midtacular

2006-11-07T09:45:00.000-08:00

It's election day today, vote early, vote often.

update

2006-11-03T08:08:00.000-08:00

I want to say thank you to everyone that commented, called, pm'd, and emailed me with their concerns and hugs, it really means a lot to me.

Sadly enough, the very ones to whom this post was written to completely missed the entire point of my anger and frustration.

This is the email I recieved from my mother:

i am ashamed of you  you are a big girl you do not have to
throw a temmper tantrum because you did not get to do something you wanted.
you are the one who threw us away ten years ago when you thought you were
mature enough to handle mark.  don't blame us for your problems.
we were happy. we gave you what we could    lots of LOVE. we still LOVE
you even tho that message was the most hateful thing i have have ever heard
out of you
we have our problems. we will have problems   your brothers are very
hurt that you think that.  your dad was devestated that you hate him that
much. i am shocked and ashamed of you.

This is the email I sent back in response:

Subject: Well, you completely missed the point.

Not that I'm surprised, really.

Temper tantrum? Try mental breakdown. And it's been 5 years in the making. Tom's wedding wasn't even the straw that broke the camel's back.

How often do any of you call me just to chat? How often do you ask to see your grandchildren? How often do you send me an email to find out how I'm doing? I stopped calling you a year and a half ago when you didn't acknowledge the pictures I sent of Matthew to you, and you never even noticed.

And exactly how did I throw you away when I married Mark? You lost me on that one. Mark had absolutely NOTHING to do with why I left your religion. I threw you away? I don't think so. You are required to treat me as if I was the devil, turning your back on me. I threw away nothing but empty promises made by old dead men. (Just when is Armageddon coming? Soon, isn't it? I thought it was supposed to be here in 1914, no, 1935, no, 1975, wait, when is it coming again? 2034? Oh well, it's RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!)

I know that you love me. I love you very much. Nowhere in my post did I express hatred for any of my family, not even Dad. Hatred for what your religion makes you do, yes, but not for you. But you can't see that, can you?

I don't blame you for any of my problems. Quite frankly, I don't really have any problems, I have a very happy life. I have a wonderful husband who shows me unconditional love and two beautiful children. I actually live a more moral life than I did while I was a witness.

You did the best you could, and I love you for that. You raised me to be strong and independent and to think for myself. But yet, because I am strong, because I am independent, because I think for myself, I am punished. You are punished.

I find it very interesting that you feel free to tell me how ashamed you are of me because of mere words that I wrote from the bottom of my heart in the depths of pain, but yet you've never told me how proud you are of me for being the strong, independent woman you raised me to be. You've never told me how proud you are of my beautiful children.

And you are MISSING your grandchildren's lives. Do you have any idea of the pain I feel when I think about them missing out on the wonderful grandparents they have?

I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting to have you in my life. For 8 years I have fought to keep you in my life so you could be in your grandchildren's lives. But you never ask to see your grandchildren. You weren't even there the day Matthew was born. That hurt me so very much. You have no idea how painful it is to even remember that. I feel that me and my family just aren't important to you, at all.

Temper tantrum? Try mental breakdown. Over 5 years in the making. And all because your religion prevents you from showing me the love I know you have for me.

*sigh* I'm sure that they still will miss the point, if they even read it. This was a bridge I really didn't want to burn, but my anger and frustration just couldn't be contained anymore. And sometimes, the best someone can do just isn't enough.

Halloween, 2006

2006-11-02T09:54:00.000-08:00

Pictures of my two cutie-patooties!

Matthew had an absolute blast running and jumping around the block!
He even liked getting candy!

Have you seen my family?

2006-10-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

My family has been stolen from me: my father, my mother, and both of my brothers. Gone, stolen. Never to be returned.

Were they murdered? In an accident or fire? No.

They were stolen from me by their own religion. The very religion I was raised to believe. But because I choose to follow a different path, they are REQUIRED to shun me. Or they will be expelled as I was.

I thought the greatest hope a parent could have for their child was happiness no matter what path they followed. Am I wrong? Why do I have to be someone I'm not for them to show me their love for me? I'm sorry, for them to be ALLOWED to show me the love they have for me? What kind of religion makes a parent treat their own flesh and blood with contempt? How healthy is that religion, really? Does that religion really follow the bible or Jesus?

But yet, they have "the truth", and I have turned my back on God, simply because I refuse to be a hypocrite and pretend to be something I'm not. I live in the now, instead of waiting to live my life in some mythical "paradise on earth" where everyone is the same. (Can you say "Stepford world"?)

It is my belief that each individual on this planet is unique, unlike anyone else. For those of you that believe that God created us, why do you insist that we all follow the same path? Why must we all believe what you believe? I don't get it.

I am a very unique person. So are you. I embrace you, why can't you embrace me? We come from the same place, don't we?

(Edited because some people can't see where my pain actually comes from. Actually, they can't see my pain at all.)

You claim you have the one, true religion. Really? Huh. Jesus said we would be able to recognize his followers by the "love they show". All I ever saw in the 28 years I was part of your religion was power-hungry assholes who put the appearance of righteousness above actual righteousness. Your religion has rules made by men (ie, not allowed to associate with those that have been expelled, not allowed to have beards or goatees, women aren't allowed to wear dresses or skirts above the knee, not allowed to critically examine your own religion but expect others to examine theirs so they can be converted, ..... I could go on and on and on and on and.....), something Jesus detested.

I quote from your very own bible:

Mark 7:6-8 He (Jesus) said to them: "Isaiah aptly prophesied about YOU hypocrites, as it is written, 'This people honor me with [their] lips, but their hearts are far removed from me. It is in vain that they keep worshiping me, because they teach as doctrines commands of men.' Letting go of the commandment of God, YOU hold fast the tradition of men."

One of the characteristics of a destructive religion is an enforced policy that requires the members to shun anyone who leaves or gets expelled from the religion. It is a common trait among esoteric movements that claim to be "the Truth." Members are required to sever association with even their own family members and relatives who leave. The consequences of this harsh doctrinal policy are extreme, shattering family relationships and leaving the victims emotionally and spiritually devastated.

Still don't believe me about the toxicity of your religion?

The scripture used to deny me entrance to my brother's wedding:

But now I am writing you to quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard or an extortioner, not even eating with such a man....Remove the wicked [man] from among yourselves.--1.Cor. 5:11, 13 (NWT)

The text is clear that a person with whom the congregation should not mix company is one who is:
1) "called a brother" (that is, one who professes to be a member of the congregation); and
2) practicing fornication, greed, idolotry, reviling (insulting), habitual drunkeness, and/or extortion (theft).

Jehovah's Witnesses do not disfellowship greedy persons.
They often do not disfellowship people who regularly get drunk unless their conduct becomes so outrageous and publicly-known as to bring reproach upon Jehovah's Witnesses.
They do not disfellowship people for many of the things which they themselves class as "idolatry" (for example: materialism, worshipping an organization, etc.).
On the other hand, Jehovah's Witnesses do disfellowship and shun people for:
- no longer claiming to be called a brother/sister.
- independent study and discussion of the Bible that brings Watchtower doctrine into question.
- possession of literature written by former members.
- having lunch with a former member, even if the former member professes to be a Christian and was not disfellowshipped for fornication, greed, idolotry, reviling, drunkeness, or extortion.
- attending a service of any other church or religious organization.
- authorizing a blood transfusion, even to save the life of a child.
- numerous other actions not mentioned in scripture, but deemed by the congregation elders to be "unclean conduct," or "conduct unbecoming" of a Jehovah's Witness. "Conduct" in this case covers a broad range of actions not clearly defined by the Society, leaving discernment about what is not acceptable to the discretion of the congregation's elders. As a result, standards by which people may be disfellowshiped are inconsistent throughout this religion which claims "unity" to be one of their identifying characteristics.

"Not to be mixing in company with" . . . "not even eating with . . ."
Here it is important to learn the customs of association for worship practiced by first-century Jews and Christians, bearing in mind that Jesus and the apostles were Jews. They lived according to the Jewish lifestyle and customs of their day. Jesus taught in the synogogues; hence, he was called "Rabbi." Matt.26:25; 26:49; Mark 9:5; 11:21; 14:25; John 1:38, 49; 3:2, 26; 4:31; 6:25; 9:2; 11:8

There were two kinds of association for religious worship:
1) public meetings, such as at the temple and in synogogues, which anyone was allowed to attend; and
2) private gatherings of the different sects.
Christians and Jews participated in both. Christians, met in private homes, usually over a special meal with prayer. A presiding minister hosted the meal using either fellowship funds or personal funds. (Acts 20:20; see the footnote in older editions of the NWT)

Christians were instructed to "greet" one another with a kiss. (Rom.16:16; 1.Cor.16:20; 2Cor.13:12; Ti.3:15; 1Pet.5:14) When Paul sent his "greetings" in a letter to the Christians in Thessalonica, he requested that the "brothers" be greeted by a "holy kiss" on his behalf. (1Thess.5:26)
It was by this sign that Judas betrayed Jesus. (Luke 22:47,48)

Clearly, Paul did instruct Christians to expel from the congregation's fellowship any person who was purposely practicing willful sin. The disassociation would quite naturally exclude them from being greeted by the identifying "holy kiss," as well as not being allowed to share in meetings and the meals for Christian worship and prayer. However, Paul's instruction did not prohibit normal conversation or witnessing to former members. Nor were they barred from attending worship in the temple or the synagogues. Jesus, the apostles and Paul, along with the rest of the Jews, worshipped God both publicly in the temple and synagogues, and privately with small groups in various homes. (Acts 5:42) It was from the private Christian fellowship for worship that sinners were excluded.

I refuse to associate myself with any religion that requires shunning. I will not be an arrogant hypocrite ever again.

My family was stolen from me over 8 years ago, and I miss them.

Huge Photo Update

2006-10-22T19:48:00.000-07:00

is up over at Sader-Family.org!

It's over 5 pages of pictures, it qualifies as huge!

How stupid are you?

2006-10-16T12:12:00.000-07:00

Yay! I'm pretty smart! Woot!

A pretty accurate reading, I would say.

2006-10-12T13:46:00.000-07:00

You Are 60% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.

Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.

But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.

You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

MWUAHAHAHAHAHA

2006-10-11T13:17:00.000-07:00

This is so rad!

*wipes tears from laughing so hard*

I love the Dresden Dolls!

Beta.....

2006-10-10T16:42:00.000-07:00

I finally know enough people who have already switched,, so here we go!

edited to say: me likey!

Free Hugs

2006-10-08T10:31:00.000-07:00

Much better now

2006-10-08T08:24:00.000-07:00

It's amazing what a trip to Worlds of Fun WITHOUT children can do for a person's spirit. I'm feeling much better, as long as I don't dwell on certain things. I still don't feel strong enough to deal with other people's drama, and I'm still not able to read any of the news regarding the tragedy in the Amish community without bawling.

Yesterday at WOF was a blast, I loved the new Patriot rollercoaster! Surrounded by friends who actually show me their love really took the bite out of the day.

BTW, a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY goes out to Andrew. Thanks for sharing your birthday with me!

Pulling away for a bit

2006-10-06T06:10:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like you just want to lock yourself away from everyone so none of their crap visits you?

I have a very stable, happy and sane environment at home. Depression is not usually an issue at our house.

I always stick up for individual's rights, and encourge all my friends to empower themselves. I tend to get very involved in helping my friends. They need help, I try to help them realized they can help themselves, that they're strong enough to kick whatever bastard is getting them down. Sometimes, my job is to just make someone laugh, sometimes it's to rally other friends to another's crisis.

In the past month, I've had two friends so depressed they considered suicide. One went so far as taking tranqualizers and going to the beach; she was going to walk into the water and dissapear, she didn't want to exist anymore.

I also have a friend dealing with an abusive soon-to-be-ex husband who tried to bully her into signing the divorce papers without looking at them or talking to a lawyer. She had to be convinced that she wasn't backed into a corner with no options and to call a lawyer anyway. She's gotten a good lawyer and has declared war on the bastard treating her this way, but it took a bit to get her there.

Drama I can handle. After all, someone I used* to call sister is bi-polar and there was drama in her life ALL THE FUCKING TIME. (*a whole drama in and of itself)

But now I have to deal with my brother and all that crap, which means it's my drama, and I can't just lock it out of my head at night. AND I'm still nursing, which means that post-partum depression can still kick in at any time.

I'm tired. I can't deal with anyone else's drama right now. I need to recharge, and figure out how to deal with my fucked up family and the grief they cause me by their actions. So if you call me, please don't be offended if I don't answer the phone.

My brother is getting married tomorrow and I can't be at his wedding, I've got all the drama I can handle, and then some. I can't help you with yours right now.

Halloween's past

2006-09-28T07:53:00.000-07:00

Pictures from previous Halloweens. Still trying to decide what Matt should be this year (he still has the mohawk, too!)

First Halloween, 2003:

2005:

I have no idea what we did in 2004, apparently we didn't document it very well!

Ribbons

2006-09-26T16:27:00.000-07:00

The magnet ribbon on my CRV says "Support our troops, Bring them home." What does your's say?

The Hoochi Mama Blog

What the???

There's a new virus you should be aware of.

Anniversaries.

Well, duh.

Mwuahah!

Linkage update

Because I fell out of my chair laughing....

Avast , me hearties!

Mood: Incredibly sad

9/11, times 6.

YES!

*sniff*

Pre School!

Pre-School

I swear, I just brought him home yesterday!

The locals are at it again!

back

So Long, suckers!

Guess I need to change the color of my blog.....

Who the heck is Marcus Brigstocke?

Venting

Yay!

oh joy

In which I resurface from the land of Harry Potter

Hypocrites, as usual.

Keith Olbermann is my new crush.....

Who, me?

Is this right?

*Snicker*

Because I haven't showed off my kids lately

Interesting.

You are The Wheel of Fortune

uug, part II

uug

Hell Yeah!

We'll laugh in a year or two.

Because I almost peed my pants laughing so hard.

Constitution? We don't need no stikin' Constitution!

*sigh*

Mmmmmm, chocolate.....

God is amazing!

One year ago today!

On the death of Jerry Falwell.....

Yep, sounds like me!

Optimism in Pessimism

1972

Pro Life? Or Pro Death?

Horribly late.

exercise, part II

exercise

Our Freedom

Reality

Eight long years

I hope my kids are this smart!

March 14.

The more things stay the same.....

Pimped out goodness!

I love Spring

/rant on

Taking an active interest in politics

Liberal media, my ass.

Because it's not football if you don't break something.

This is so me!

This is just insane!

With teeth.

ugh

FUCK.

my kids crack me up!

grrrr.....

Yay!

gah

Are you an Atheist?

Nerdgasm

Because child molestation is WRONG.

Demons

well....

Sisters by choice are the best sisters to have.

*sigh*

tis the season...

sniff

Snicker

sigh

sigh